Washington Post Survey: 10% Of Flyers Have Sex

According to the results of a questionable questionnaire by the newspaper, that percentage of air travelers do the dirty deed in airports and/or in flight. If the report isn’t an intentional joke, we presume that includes flying seniors who succeed in getting lucky quickies.

Of course, Post readers may have misunderstood the questions, and consider getting financially screwed by ever-rising airline fares to be a sexual experience. Additionally, some may also believe being crotch-frisked by horny security guards is considered an erotic encounter.

Most likely all qualifiers for the mile-high club who’ve actually done the dirty deed in flight are crew members. They can seek out cozy private spaces aboard to congregate. However, passengers, especially brittle-boned seniors crammed into cramped economy seats and with no privacy, may have to be content with just an in-flight erotic dream.

Spirit Airlines To Install More Comfy Cheap Seats PDF Print E-mail

The Florida-based low-cost carrier says it’ll “maximize usable legroom. The seats will have thicker padding, ergonomically-designed lumbar support, bigger tray tables”.

Also an elevated front pocket, and nearly an inch of additional pre-recline back. Those squeezed in middle seats will relax in an enormous added comfort in their space, 18 comfy inches compared to 17 tight inches for the window and aisle seats. Now, will we jammed-in middle-seat veteran passengers all together exude a spirited: gee whiz and wow for an entire extra one inch!!

San Francisco CA: Cable Cars Down For Repairs PDF Print E-mail

If your plans for the next ten days or so include doing the Tony Bennett climb halfway to the stars on the little cable cars, cancel them. Also, if you’re flying in or out of the city airport, be aware of delays due to runway closings for upgrades. In other words, watch your step in San Francisco, including when walking down the sidewalk in the many homeless camps.

Area 51: Change Of Event Plans In Alienated Nevada PDF Print E-mail

Take note, spaced-out celebrants. If you thought about showing up for the advertised and ill-advised occupation event where space aliens allegedly landed from Friday to Sunday, September 20-22, it has been cancelled.

Instead, planners, including Collective Zoo and Bud Light, will host a free gathering starting at 8 p.m. in the Downtown Las Vegas Events Center on Thursday, September 19. Advertised as an "out-of-this-world evening with top-secret entertainment”, it will include music, food, drink and other attractions. www.usatoday.com/story/travel/destinations/2019/09/11/storm-area-51-organizers-bail-alienstock-plan-vegas-party-instead-matty-roberts

Q: Why Do I Always Get Very Gassy When Flying? PDF Print E-mail

It’s embarrassing, especially when I’m in the middle seat of a very crowded aircraft. How can I prevent the gas attack or at least keep it quiet? PLJ, Denver CO

A: Gas happens to seniors and other flyers due to increasing air pressure that causes your stomach to bloat. You can reduce the pressure before you fly by avoiding carbonated beverages and fatty foods. Also, when you feel gassy, leave your seat and move around the cabin to get rid of bloating. Sip water to reduce gas attacks.

Avoid Wearing Jewelry While Going Through Security PDF Print E-mail

Airport lines are too often long and inconvenient. You can make the routine easier by not wearing jewelry when you check in. In some cases, it could set off the metal detector alarm.

This may require putting your valuable jewelry in the open bin, where it passes along the moving belt for all to see and possibly grab. Also, if you’re wearing items containing metal, it may result in an uncomfortable pat-down from security.

For best results, avoid wearing jewelry while checking in. Pack it in your suitcase or carry-on bag instead. Or leave it all at home for a much less disruptive journey.


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