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Humor: Five Ways To Tell You’re Eating Horse Meat

There has been considerable speculation lately about American meatpackers and restaurants slipping horse meat into their menus without identifying it. Although horseflesh has been an acceptable food in many countries around the world, it is still frowned upon by most American diners.

Therefore, as a service to our traveling seniors who are against eating a Dobbinburger or Seabiscuit steak, here are ways to tell when you suspect the meat on your plate once ran at Churchill Downs. It may help the next time you’re traveling in France, Belgium or Italy. People there consider horse meat a delicacy, but it’s not for you.

1. Before you sit down, you exclaim, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!” Then the waiter says, “Funny you should mention....”

2. When you try to cut into your flank steak, you hear a plaintively negative “Neigh”.
3. Completing the horse meat dinner, you suddenly get up, whinny and run the mile in 1:34.

4. An hour after eating equus, you feel a sudden urge to watch a John Wayne movie.

5. You realize Hamlet asked the ultimate question about whether it was horse meat at Elsinore: “To be or not to be, that is the equestrian!”

(To our senior travelers: Hope the lame humor gives you a horse laugh!)

Paris, France: Eiffel Tower New See-Thru Glass Floors PDF Print E-mail

Many of our senior career women readers are too familiar with glass ceilings. Now, travels can take them to sky-high places where they’ll enjoy glass floors and breathtaking views.

The venerable Eiffel Tower, celebrating its 125th anniversary, now offers visitors a high floor with a clear glass bottom that reveals the city of Paris 200 feet below. The millions of visitors who flock to the landmark each year can now stand and look down on the beautiful city. www.toureiffel.paris/en

Here are several other glass-bottomed attractions around the world:

CN Tower, Toronto, Canada: The see-thru walkway vision is 1,122 feet high, and first opened 20 years ago. www.cntower.ca

Skytree, Tokyo, Japan: At nearly a half-mile high, the world’s highest freestanding broadcast tower offers the glass-bottom Tembo Deck at its 1,148 feet level, surrounded by 360-degree views from huge window panels. www.tokyo-skytree.jp

Grand Princess: Cruise Los Angeles-Hawaii Round Trip PDF Print E-mail

As the weather turns chilly, 'tis the season for continuing sunny senior days and balmy nights at sea. Do it right by booking a 15-day Los Angeles to Hawaii and return cruise aboard the beautiful Grand Princess.

Departure is Thursday, December 4, and return Friday, December 19. Port visits include Honolulu, Nawiliwili, Hilo and Ensenada, Mexico. Prices, based on two in a cabin, start at $1,399, plus $145 added fees.

Hollywood CA: Hotel For Famed Tinseltown Ghosts PDF Print E-mail

In the mid-1950s, your travel4seniors.com senior editor worked on an afternoon daily newspaper, the Beverly Hills Citizen, now long gone. Since it opened in 1927, the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, a mile or so from my office, was where movie stars romped.

It’s right across the street from Grauman's Chinese Theater (now TLC Chinese Theatre). However, today's stars rarely visit tacky, touristy Hollywood. They prefer to live and play in the hills of Beverly, Holmby and other posh communities west to the ocean in Malibu.

When at the hotel on news assignments, I recall bumping into Frederic March, Groucho, Yul Brynner, Irene Dunne, Judy Garland and many others. Once I may have glimpsed Marilyn Monroe, but she was in dark glasses, bundled up and gone so quickly, I've never been sure.

Haunt A National Battlefield On Halloween PDF Print E-mail

Many seniors are veterans of battles fought throughout the world, and still carry mental and physical scars of those tough times. This year, to add a serious note to the usual ghostly celebrations, consider making a pilgrimage to a memorial here in the USA.

There, you with family or friends, can mark the holiday with personal memories. You can also pay homage to those fellow veterans who fought and died there. Most American battlefields are administered by the National Park Service, and beautiful in autumn colors.

Bunker Hill MA: Despite what you heard in school, the battle was actually fought on nearby Breed’s Hill. As with other such stories, most are pure fiction. You’ll get the truth from park rangers when you visit. www.nps.gov/bost

Gettysburg PA: It was the pivotal battle of the Civil War, with the highest casualties. The location was made immortal a year later by Abraham Lincoln’s speech. www.nps.gov/gett

Seniors In The Air: No, No On Bad Jokes! PDF Print E-mail

On a recent flight, a self-appointed humorist told fellow passengers he had Ebola, then laughed and said he was just kidding. However, the pilot wasn’t kidding when he immediately returned to the airport and ordered a medical team in hazard suits. Result: A planeload of frightened, frustrated and delayed passengers, plus the jailed jokester faces legal, possible criminal charges.

We’re aware that many travel4seniors.com readers have spent responsible lifetimes in business, education and the military. Along with that serious career success, especially with ex-military, there’s often a creative sense of humor.


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