Ten travel tips: A little paranoia goes a long way PDF Print E-mail


When traveling, the idea is to relax and have fun. That’s a perfect goal, but if you want to do it safely, there are those nagging little warnings that should always be somewhere in your head.

If you’re getting up in years, awareness of your surroundings and some positive paranoia can help make your trip safer. If you listen to that little voice of reason at the right times, it can make your travels more enjoyable and less worrisome.

1. Your travel motto should be: if it seems to good to be true, it ain’t true. This applies to promises from taxi drivers, time-share deals, 99-cent buffets, food served from street vending carts and everything else that smells fishy.

Five tips on what to do if the bill is too big PDF Print E-mail

Bird with big bill

It seems to happen every time. We check out of a hotel, knowing our online travel agency has booked us a great room for a special deal of $98 each for three nights. So, the bill should be $294. Right? Wrong! The desk clerk hands you a bill for $387.

It’s the same with that cruise bargain you bought, five nights round trip from Fort Lauderdale to the Bahamas. When you boarded, you even got a free upgrade to a better cabin. The price quote from your agency was $835. When you checked out, the bill was for $1,127.

Five ways to pass those yawn hours in the airport PDF Print E-mail

Your flight is snowed in at Chicago O’Hare and the announcement is that it’ll be 45 minutes late. That means at least 145 minutes. It’s way past your normal bedtime, you’re yawning and your eyes are drooping. All you want to do is catch some pre-redeye shuteye. Here are some suggestions:

1. Whenever you fly, anticipate in-airport delays. Keep a snooze kit in your carry-on. It could include a lightweight blanket or sheet, sleep mask and inflatable pillow.

2. It’s tough trying to get comfy in a single cramped airport seat. If the airport isn’t crowded, find a bench where you can stretch out.

HUMOR: You've booked a flight on a no-frills airline if: PDF Print E-mail

Old biplane

1. Airport security check-in is a quick feel before you board.
2, The captain’s name is Orville, co-captain is Wilbur and flight attendant is Amelia.
3. You trip over empty beer cans as you make your way to your seat.
4. A mechanic winds up the propeller before take-off.
5. If there’s an in-flight emergency, the attendant tells you to bend over, grab your ankles and kiss your butt goodbye.

Air passengers air their gripes PDF Print E-mail

We don’t usually get negative about air travel, because about 90 percent of the time we get to where we’re going in reasonably good time and comfort. However, we found some bitingly funny remarks on several websites that serve as examples of how we trapped flyers sometimes feel about airlines. Here are the hateful eight:

1. If there’s a possible rough landing, do you know why flight attendants tell you to curl up with your head down? It’s to prepare to kiss your butt goodbye.

2. You can call it the Rhett Butler Airline, because frankly, my dear passengers, they just don't give a damn.


Page 181 of 223
Stay in-the-know about the latest Sports, Life, Money, Tech, and Travel stories. You'll get your first 2 months of USA TODAY for $25 (charged monthly). All print subscribers receive the e-Newspaper included with their subscription.