We don’t usually get negative about air travel, because about 90 percent of the time we get to where we’re going in reasonably good time and comfort. However, we found some bitingly funny remarks on several websites that serve as examples of how we trapped flyers sometimes feel about airlines. Here are the hateful eight:

1. If there’s a possible rough landing, do you know why flight attendants tell you to curl up with your head down? It’s to prepare to kiss your butt goodbye.

2. You can call it the Rhett Butler Airline, because frankly, my dear passengers, they just don't give a damn.

How great could this vacation be! The Vegas resort spa offers 20 minutes in a tanning pod for absolutely free! Or the Tokyo hotel offers spa experiences that include barefoot girls walking on your back, followed by a session in a tanning bed.

They promise you’ll come out looking like a popular celebrity. Yeah, if the celebrity is the leathery-skinned King Tut mummy. If you really think you look good with a Palm Beach or Palm Springs tan you get from lolling in a little ultraviolet light box, it’s all right. Right? No, it is all bad, especially for senior travelers. Have you ever wondered why those tanning beds look like coffins?

August is the best time to visit Las Vegas. Crowds are scarce, prices are at the lowest of the year, and the desert temperature often hits 110 degrees and above on the famed Las Vegas Strip. The best Vegas hotel prices are for the nights of Sunday through Thursday.

For instance, while a dinky New York, London or Paris hotel charges $350 a night for a room not much bigger than a closet, Sin City’s major luxury resorts offer posh two-room suites for $100. Of course, at the top of the luxury hotels on the Strip, visitors can pay out $1,000 a night or more for a suite fit for a king, or if they play the gambling tables long enough, get them absolutely free.

You’ve just come off a long flight. You’re tired and want to get out of the pushy, crowded airport as soon as possible. You go as quickly as possible to your airline’s baggage carousel and wait for the thing to start circling and the little trap door to start spitting out baggage.

You breathe a sigh of relief as the bags start on their merry-go-round ride and people pick up theirs and hurry off. You wait, expecting the familiar one with all the labels to come around to you. And you wait. Then, after all the bumping and shoving, you’re the only passenger left there, and the carousel is empty. Panic time!