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Senior Traveler Dementia: Recognize The Symptoms?

CNN recently featured an article naming the ten warning signs of Alzheimer’s. Of course, there’s nothing laughable about the terrible condition that tragically affects minds of the elderly. On a lighter note, however, allow us to offer our list of ten things that drive traveling seniors totally out of our minds.

1. Grabby, feely airport security: Do we oldsters look like terrorists? Why do we have to suffer the indignity of being frisked like suspected criminals? Maybe a little crazy talk will keep the hands away.

2. Late flights: Waiting in the airport for boarding, only to be told it will be another hour, then another hour. Why does it only happen when you’re sure to miss the connecting flight? Is it any wonder your mind melts?

3. Annoying seatmates: Is there someone in the airline’s reservation office who has fun matching you up with a 400-pound drunk, unwashed passenger? It’s a good time then to pretend you’re senile so the seatmate stays away from you.

4. Airline and hotel fibs: Why do they advertise $99.99 specials, when you know taxes and other add-ons will make you pay $150 plus? Maybe some incoherent raving will get the price lowered a bit. Anyhow, it’s worth a try.

Destination Hawaii: Paradise In The Pacific

While temperatures drop in most of the U.S., many seniors consider visiting Hawaii. They envision soft trade winds as girls in grass skirts hula to the beat of native ukes. By the shore, bronzed surfers ride the waves, while in the distant sea, dolphins and whales frolic.

That’s all true, but Hawaii also offers endless creative things to do. The average December and January daytime temperatures are in the mid-70s. So, if you want a warm, tropical vacation that gets senior traveler adrenalin flowing, here are a few hints:

Kilauea Volcano: Hike overland to the few nearby spots where tourists are allowed. Fly over in a helicopter or ride a boat to watch from a safe distance.

Deep-Sea Fish: Take chartered boats, depart from Lahaina, Maui, and set your line out for Blue Marlin. Not interested in keeping your catch? There is a tag and release program just for you.

Whale Watching: Join a chartered boat trip or just watch with binoculars from Oahu North Shore high points. See the huge humpbacks swim by.

Scuba Dive: The underwater world off Kona's coast is a scuba fantasy. Canyons and cliffs of lava, submerged caves and brilliant coral reefs teeming with wildly-colored sea life are there. Another great dive is located near Waianae Harbor on Oahu.

Senior photographers: Selfie Could Get You A Freebee

Those expert self-portraits of your face shot while posing at a luxury hotel’s entrance, garden or ballroom could be worth something. Now called braggies, they could earn you a free night or more for your next travel venture. Post it on a social website, such as Facebook, and the grateful hotel chain may reward you for it.

Several cruise lines and other travel-related sources offer similar promotions for creative photographers. Check with your travel agent and search the internet for braggie/selfie contests and awards. For more info, go to www.yahoo.com/travel/are-braggies-the-new-selfies

Memphis TN: Old Southern Charm Of Blues City

Memphis is great for senior visitors, offering a mix of old Southern charm, antebellum mansions, historic sites, music history and fine dining. Average December daytime temperatures are in the mid-50s, and nights in mid-30s. Memphis International Airport is world headquarters of FedEx. Delta, American, Continental and US Airways also serve Memphis.

The venerable Peabody Hotel attracts families for the daily duck parade from the lobby at 11 am. It’s within easy walking distance to Beale Street, Rock N Soul Museum, National Civil Rights Museum and Convention Center. www.peabodymemphis.com

Rome, Italy: Friendly Poliziotto By The Colosseum

Your travel4seniors.com editor snaps friendly Italian policemen. We just couldn’t help expecting the smiling middle one to suddenly yell out....”Heyyyy, Abbbbotttt!”

While in the Eternal City, he stayed in the fantastic five-star Hotel Eden Rome, proud member of the Dorchester Collection. www.dorchestercollection.com/rome/hotel-eden

Q: Las Vegas NV: Why Are They Called Whales?

We’ve seen them arriving in plush limos and tossing huge bets at the casino tables. I know they’re rich, but why are they called whales? PLJ, New Orleans LA

A: We love Vegas, go there frequently and are familiar with those big-bucks gamblers from all over the world known as whales. The term indicates they have unlimited resources and spend like spouting whales.

Some come to Sin City with inherited millions, others have built up oil and other business billions. Like the original Vegas mobsters, many got rich in drugs and other illegal dealings. Today, the newest wave of whales include super-rich rock stars, TV celebs, Hollywood moguls and grossly-overpaid pro jocks. They freely gamble away their easy-come-easy-go millions, knowing there’s more where that came from.