Sail on a luxurious riverboat offering beautiful views, exciting port visits, while being surrounded by tulips and endless fields of spring flowers. Program No. 22609RJ is for 11 days, April 10-20, 2017.

Prices start at $3,695 per person for the program, with round-trip airfare from $1,075. You’ll spend nine nights in your upscale river cruise cabin, enjoy 24 meals, expert field trips, lectures and much, much more. For full info, go to www.roadscholar.org/find-an-adventure/22609/springtime-delight-holland-and-belgium-in-bloom/dates

AA calls it basic-economy fare, and restricts those passengers to just one bag that fits under the seat. Not allowed to stash anything in the overhead. AA joins United Airlines in offering this cheaper choice. It’s estimated the new policy will save from 10 to 25 percent on flights.

Of course, among the restrictions is that the cheap seat passengers get to go last in their walk of shame to board the flight. Then, will an attendant utter the classic line: Please step to the back of the bus. One can only wonder what’s next in money-saving offers. Announcement: All cheap seat passengers must remove their clothing before boarding.

Ever since 1930s comic strips and movie serials, it has been predicted. There soon may be city transportation where travelers won’t need to drive on crowded streets nor use polluting gasoline.

They’ll go sailing through the air on controlled rails in little capsules. A new monorail idea is that they’ll be powered by passenger legs. No smelly, burning fossil fuels, just throbbing muscles pumping away like hamsters in cages.

Opinion: It must have been inspired by recent news items about male passengers making male passes at female seatmates. Of course, we endorse the protected seating for all airlines where women may fear being groped by horny male strangers.

But, as long as there’s a female-only section, it’s only fair that there also be male-only seating. There guys will be able to relax, take off their shoes and unbuckle their belts. They’ll be free to pick their noses, rub their toes and vigorously scratch the more intimate parts of their bodies.

They’ll also be permitted to loudly discuss politics, women, sports and booze while using all the four-letter words they choose. And after dining on the airline meal, the guys won’t be restricted from belching and emitting loud noises from other areas of their bodies.

And... uh ... about the flight seating of transgenders ...