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Will Lyrics Soon Be: Come (Unbutton Your) Fly With Me?


Remember the Sinatra song inviting you to take to the air? The lyrics don’t mention the normal human need to use the onboard toilet while up there in the sky.

Airlines continue to create and hike all kinds of extra fees for flying. Therefore, a recent news item about a top airline official mentioning the possibility of putting pay toilets on passenger planes shouldn’t be surprising. His reason was to raise “discretionary revenue.” Hmm. Wouldn’t that better be described as “excretionary revenue”?

Of course, pay toilets are still flourishing in tourist cities around the world. When in Rome recently, we visited the Colosseum, and its toilets were coin-operated, pay-as-you-go. Also, in Paddington Station in London, it was similar rip-off. 

One newswriter said if they install pay toilets aboard flights, it could have a backlash effect of losing money for the airline. He predicted passengers would then avoid buying expensive drinks, so that they wouldn’t have to use the toilets while in flight.

To misquote a phrase by Sir Walter Scott, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we charge to relieve!”

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