Home TIPS Humor; Ten Zingers or the Ticked-Off Traveler
Humor; Ten Zingers or the Ticked-Off Traveler PDF Print E-mail

You’re mature, experienced, and in these days you have a very short fuse for delays, inefficiency, excuses, back talk and just plain discourtesy. Here are some ways to take a stand and fight back:  

travel faces


1. To hotel clerk: That price is outrageous. I don’t want to buy the place, just sleep here.
2. To taxi driver: I didn’t say go the scenic route to get me here. All right. You have a choice. Do you want half of the rip-off charge or none at all?
3. To rude waiter: You’ve been snotty, slow and stupid. The only  tip you’ll get from me is: find another line of work.
4. To airline counter clerk: Just get me on that flight, and don’t call me dearie, sweetie or honey. I’m old enough to be your mother, and very thankful I’m not.
5. To maitre de: Turn down that annoying rock music. It’s bad enough trying to eat this lousy, overpriced meal in the dark.
6. Hey, sailor, aren’t you a bit young to be trying to pick up a mature tourist like me in a Singapore bar?
7. To baggage handler: I know you can’t read, but the label on my suitcase says Boston, not Botswana. Last time you sent my bag marked Baltimore to Barcelona.
8. To airport security guard: It must be nice for a pervert like you to have a job where you get your jollies by feeling people up.
9. To flight attendant: All right, I know you’re charging extra now for blankets, pillows and coffee. But I resent the coin-operated toilet.
10. To panhandler: Sure, I believe you used to be a big Wall Street broker, but that’s no excuse to expect me to be your personal bail-out plan.

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