Won’t it be wonderful? According to USA Today, Continental Airlines has had DirecTV on 18 of its aircraft for several months. Soon, by huge popular demand (at least 3 people), Continental will offer 77 channels of live seatback TV on most domestic flights.

Think how you’ll be able to sit back and enjoy it all while jammed into your five-across sardine can seat as you fly 3,000 miles across America or to destinations around the world. Can you wait to watch such enlightening TV shows as Dance Your Ass Off, American Idol, Letterman mugging/twitching and Dog the Bounty Hunter abusing scofflaws.

You’ll also be thrilled by loud sales pitches by the late but still yapping Billy Mays, the Burger King dummy, Comcast eyeballs, Geico lizard, Preparation H ads, ambulance-chasing local lawyers, sweaty gold buyers and all the noisy, jerky images and gutter language on MTV. Or maybe you’ll be real lucky on your six-hour, non-stop flight and get to watch an endless PBS begathon.

Unless you’re flying first class, the privilege of these treats for your eyes and ears will cost you $6 per flight. However, because the TV programs could require you to use them, barf bags are still free.

Remember those “Star Trek” scenes where Captain Kirk could talk to a projected three-dimensional image of a nasty Klingon in the Enterprise control room, even though the guy wasn’t actually there in the flesh? Soon, with some expert imaging, from Mount Rushmore, it’ll be, “Beam me up, Scottie, to George, Tom, Teddy and Abe.”

Within the next few months, camera crews will be scanning laser video from all angles of the Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota. Then they’ll put it all together and produce a totally three-dimensional digital visual image of the American landmark.

Arizona’s Monument Valley, magnificent site of many classic Hollywood Western classics, has some of the most fantastic views in he world. Now they’ll be even more convenient for visitors. The View Hotel, the first ever to be built inside the Monument Valley Navajo Tribal Park, which is an enormous vista of nearly 30 thousand acres of government-protected Native American lands.

Alongside The View, and scheduled to open in October, is a new visitors center and museum. They’ll provide visual and sound information about the Monument Valley features. They’ll also house a museum honoring World War II Navajo secret code talkers who, as US Marines, were vital communicators who confused enemy intelligence during the Iwo Jima and Okinawa campaigns.

For more information, go to www.navajonationparks.org

1. Early to bed, early to rise, means you have a 5 am flight.
2. Nothing is certain, except death, taxes and your flight is delayed.
3. Eat to live, and but not live to eat, unless you’re at a Vegas buffet.
4. He that lies down with dogs has been booked into a lousy hotel.
5. To err is human, to forgive divine, except when the cabbie makes you miss your flight.