You’ve gotta be kidding. Do Paris on the cheap? Probably the only Paris you could do on the cheap lives in Hollywood. However, you don’t want to check out of this world until you’ve seen and earned the traditional bragging rights of visiting Paris at least once. You'll tell everyone back home you've found romance, adventure, great food, springtime and glamor in Paris. Well, at least a little of each.

Here are just a few suggestions on how you can knock down those outrageous Paris prices to merely grossly high.

1. Forget the overpriced Parisian taxis and their insane drivers. Get discount Metro day-long tickets for about $10, giving you ten round-trip rides for a buck (Euro, too) each. The famed Paris subway system can take you to almost anywhere in the city you want in a much faster and safer way than surface transportation in the traffic-clogged central area.

2. Buy an all-inclusive Paris Museum Pass for about $25 a day. It gets you into the Louvre, the Musee D'Orsay, Rodin, Arch of Triumph, Pompidou Center, Notre Dame and many other city landmark museums and monuments. The pass is not only a bargain, but it puts you at the head of the waiting lines at all the venues. Log on to www.parismuseumpass.com for full details.

3. If you’re still a vigorous walker and enjoy riding the subway, book a hotel room away from the center of Paris. As in all tourist cities, the big close-in Paris hotels have prices that could empty your bank account. Typical is $500 a day. However, if you’re willing to stay at a smaller hotel on the city’s outskirts, but within a short walk to the Metro, you could get a room for less than $100. And it could include a nice breakfast each morning.

4. If your stay in Paris will be a week or more, consider renting an apartment. As with hotel rooms, the close-in buildings typically charge $1,000 a week. This price, figuring out to $142 a night isn’t nearly as expensive as a hotel room. However, as with the hotel choice, you could look for an apartment in the city’s outskirts, close to a bus line or the Metro. The price could be $500 or less per week. Apartments aren’t for every traveler, but if you like your own private rooms and kitchen in a non-commercial neighborhood, you may find one in Paris you’ll like. You’ll find plenty of ads with an internet search or by checking with your travel agent.

5. Chowing down in Paris can be an art, because you’ll find elegant cafes everywhere. However, if you happen to wander into one of the more expensive places, you’ll be lucky to get away with your retirement fund still intact. Typical meals in upscale cafes can run $100 or more. However, if you look for the humble little places where Parisian families eat on their night out, you could get a great dinner for $10. Also, when wandering through an area with many restaurants, look at the slate outside that offers price fixe, usually an early evening special, for a complete and very satisfying meal at a bargain rate of as low as $5.

Whatever your budget, make your stay in exciting and romantic Paris a most enjoyable one. Remember, you only live once, and if you do it right, that’s enough.