Now that every aspect of our society is offensive to someone, the vintage Pirates Of The Caribbean rides at Disneyworld and Disney Land are changed. The scene where pirates auction off captured women is now auctions of captured chickens.

Hey, Disney apologists, shouldn’t you do some other appropriate changes? For example, shamefully calling a dog Goofy and an elephant Dumbo implies mental retardation. And Donald Duck doing all those angry quacks can offend some underqualified doctors.

And how about that loving couple, Mickey and Minnie. You’d think their 90-year relationship should have included a marriage ceremony way back when. And let’s not mention Snow White shacking up with those bears.

The new Gevora rises almost 1,200 into the sky, topping by a foot or two its next door rival, the JW Marriott Marquis. It has 75 floors of suites and rooms, as well as many luxury features, but doesn’t allow booze to be sold there. Room rates begin at about $60 a night. For booking and other info, go to gevorahotels.com.

Just opened this summer, the town where Lucille Ball was born has created a museum dedicated to humor. It features artifacts, props, videos and other memories from Lucille and other famous comedy stars of the past.

There are examples from early stage, vaudeville and movie comedy, such as innocently bright “I Love Lucy” clips, as well as George Carlin’s darker routines. For schedules, tickets and other info, go to comedycenter.org

Senior travelers are familiar with the cheaters. Passengers who get fake IDs for Fido board first and grab the best seats. It happens on other airlines, as well as some cruise lines. Southwest has taken steps to make sure the helper animals are legitimate and not a bother to other passengers and crew. Now each must be on a leash throughout the flight and obey the rules.

Southwest's new policy, as of mid-September, requires travelers’ emotional support animal to wear a visible tag, and the owner must show a letter from an MD or licensed mental health pro. The only acceptable companions on SW flights are qualified dogs and cats.