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Will Lyrics Soon Be: Come (Unbutton Your) Fly With Me?


Remember the Sinatra song inviting you to take to the air? The lyrics don’t mention the normal human need to use the onboard toilet while up there in the sky.

Airlines continue to create and hike all kinds of extra fees for flying. Therefore, a recent news item about a top airline official mentioning the possibility of putting pay toilets on passenger planes shouldn’t be surprising. His reason was to raise “discretionary revenue.” Hmm. Wouldn’t that better be described as “excretionary revenue”?

Of course, pay toilets are still flourishing in tourist cities around the world. When in Rome recently, we visited the Colosseum, and its toilets were coin-operated, pay-as-you-go. Also, in Paddington Station in London, it was similar rip-off. 

One newswriter said if they install pay toilets aboard flights, it could have a backlash effect of losing money for the airline. He predicted passengers would then avoid buying expensive drinks, so that they wouldn’t have to use the toilets while in flight.

To misquote a phrase by Sir Walter Scott, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we charge to relieve!”

Q&A: No-Limit Booze Cruise: How To Avoid One? PDF Print E-mail


Q: We’ve been cruising for years, but are concerned with the new all-you-can-drink promotions some cruise lines now offer. We like our drinks, too, but don’t want to be on a ship with a bunch of uncontrolled drunks running around on a permanent Spring Break.

What’s your take on the deal?  M.B., Toronto, Canada

A: Royal Caribbean has just announced its Allure of the Seas and Oasis of the Seas ships will offer passengers the opportunity to buy unlimited drinks. Other cruise lines have similar systems already in place. The cost ranges from $40 a day and up.

We haven’t yet heard any binge drinking horror stories happening under these plans. However, there are cruises notorious for loud, hard-drinking passengers. They traditionally include alumni reunions, college spring breaks and all-male corporate conferences.

Our advice is that before you book your next cruise, check with your online or hometown travel agency. Give specific instructions to be sure you don’t unknowingly find yourself aboard a ship of (drinking) fools.

 
 
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