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American Airlines Pilot Arrested For Being Drunk


According to news sources, he was pulled from his flight in England’s Manchester Airport before scheduled take-off for Philadelphia. This has happened before, and if you’re ever a passenger in the same situation, here are some clues to listen for when you hear the captains’ announcements:

All passengers fasten your chastity belts
The attitude will be very high, but not as high I am right now
This flight is headed for some place I can’t remember
I just got slapped for explaining the word cockpit to a stewardess
Damn service dogs! I just slipped on something in the aisle
Be kind to that sloppy drunk in the next seat. He’s my drinking buddy.

What would old Ben say if he traveled today PDF Print E-mail

Franklin

1. Early to bed, early to rise, means you have a 5 am flight.
2. Nothing is certain, except death, taxes and your flight is delayed.
3. Eat to live, and but not live to eat, unless you’re at a Vegas buffet.
4. He that lies down with dogs has been booked into a lousy hotel.
5. To err is human, to forgive divine, except when the cabbie makes you miss your flight.

6. There are no gains without pains, unless you’re in the painfully-narrow middle seat on an international flight.
7. A small leak can sink a great ship, so don’t book your next cruise on the SS Titanic.
8. Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today, and you aren’t getting any younger. Book that Vegas vacation today!
9. Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy, except if the guy sitting next to you in tourist has had too much of it.
10. Nothing but money is sweeter than honey, unless your spouse finds out about your secret honey.

 
 
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