CNN recently featured an article naming the ten warning signs of Alzheimer’s. Of course, there’s nothing laughable about the terrible condition that tragically affects minds of the elderly. On a lighter note, however, allow us to offer our list of ten things that drive traveling seniors totally out of our minds.

1. Grabby, feely airport security: Do we oldsters look like terrorists? Why do we have to suffer the indignity of being frisked like suspected criminals? Maybe a little crazy talk will keep the hands away.

2. Late flights: Waiting in the airport for boarding, only to be told it will be another hour, then another hour. Why does it only happen when you’re sure to miss the connecting flight? Is it any wonder your mind melts?

3. Annoying seatmates: Is there someone in the airline’s reservation office who has fun matching you up with a 400-pound drunk, unwashed passenger? It’s a good time then to pretend you’re senile so the seatmate stays away from you.

4. Airline and hotel fibs: Why do they advertise $99.99 specials, when you know taxes and other add-ons will make you pay $150 plus? Maybe some incoherent raving will get the price lowered a bit. Anyhow, it’s worth a try.