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Cuss a screener & you're on mad fliers list

Airport anger can get you on THE list

Throw a fit in the airport or just get mildly ticked off, and your name may go into a Homeland Security and Transportation Security Administration watch list. They already have one for terrorists and other murderous nutcases, but now they’re starting a list of air travelers who aren’t quite as dangerous, but still need watching.

You can qualify for the throw-a-snit list by arguing loudly with a screener, angrily tossing bags and stuff around or just threatening to punch the TSA guy in the nose. Hey, wait a minute. Doesn’t that include just about everyone who flies today?

If you make the list, unless you’ve done something really violent, you won’t be barred from boarding your next flight. However, you can be sure the screener will get back at you for your alleged bad behavior on previous inspections. Expect him to grin knowingly at you and spend a lot more time going through your carry-on stuff.

Travel Tips For When Winter Wonderland Ain't So Wonderful PDF Print E-mail

Remember Bing’s smooth voice crooning out these lyrics?

“Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin’,
In the lane, snow is glistenin’.
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight,
Walking in a winter wonderland.”

Winter driving
He’d sing a different tune if he had to drive hundreds of miles through that beautiful sight of glistening snow ... and slush ... and ice ... and mud ... and poor visibility ... and blocked-off roads. Instead of hearing sleigh bells, his ears would be blasted with angry car horns and curses of snowbound drivers.

Maybe these snow travel tips can help:

1. Before you venture out into the storm, check the latest weather reports for your area and the routes you plan to take. If it looks dangerous, especially when road conditions are icy and vision is poor, stay home until conditions improve.

2. If you decide to go, make sure someone is informed of your route and expected time of arrival. Keep a fully-charged cell phone with you, along with numbers you may have to call in an emergency.

3. Make certain your car is well-equipped to handle bad winter road conditions. Your tires must have adequate tread to avoid uncontrolled skidding, and if chains are necessary in your area, put them on or take them with you. Additionally, keep other winter safety equipment with you, including an inflated spare tire, ice scraper, road flare, tire changing tools and jack and medical kit.

4. Take extra winter clothing, enough to bundle up for hours in case your car heating system breaks down. In any case, if you must stop for more than five minutes, don’t leave the engine running. Take waterproof ankle- or knee-high boots in case you’ll need to hike through heavy snowdrifts.

5. Pull over and stop driving if your windshield has frozen up and your vision is limited in any way. If the weather is that cold, don’t try to clear your windshield by turning on a solidly frozen wiper. Take a metal-bladed scraper and slowly work the ice off. Shooting hot water on a frozen windshield could cause it to crack or shatter.

6. Do what we did. Retire and move your frozen butt to sunny Arizona.

 

 
 
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