Home
Samsonite
 

Newsflash

Spirit Airline Ads Boast Of No Knee-Busting Seats


Several recent commercial fights were emergency landed because of passenger fights about reclining seats and sore patellas. Spirit, the upstart budget airline, is taking advantage of the situation by revealing that no such troubles can happen aboard their flights. Their seats simply don’t recline.

The airline happily advertises "the new definition of luxury: flying all the way to your destination without someone's chair in your lap." Spirit schedules flights to more than 39 destinations in the U.S., Caribbean, Bahamas and Latin America. For current schedules, ticket prices and other info, go to www.spirit.com

American Airlines Pilot Arrested For Being Drunk PDF Print E-mail


According to news sources, he was pulled from his flight in England’s Manchester Airport before scheduled take-off for Philadelphia. This has happened before, and if you’re ever a passenger in the same situation, here are some clues to listen for when you hear the captains’ announcements:

All passengers fasten your chastity belts
The attitude will be very high, but not as high I am right now
This flight is headed for some place I can’t remember
I just got slapped for explaining the word cockpit to a stewardess
Damn service dogs! I just slipped on something in the aisle
Be kind to that sloppy drunk in the next seat. He’s my drinking buddy.

 
 
Stay in-the-know about the latest Sports, Life, Money, Tech, and Travel stories. You'll get your first 2 months of USA TODAY for $25 (charged monthly). All print subscribers receive the e-Newspaper included with their subscription.