According to a recent Travel&Leisure Magazine article, the five cities in the U.S. where citizens are not too cordial to tourists are:

1. Los Angeles: That’ll be another $10 for your waiter, 'cause he really needs the dough. He came out here from Podunk to become a big movie star. He ain’t quite made it yet, but your contribution will keep him going a little longer before he has to go back home.

2. New York: Hey, I’m walkin’ here! You think you own the sidewalk or sumpin’? This is my Noo Yawk! Get outa my face, tourist! But first unload your wallet!

3. Philadelphia: Who sez Philly is the City of Brotherly Love? I don’t even like my sister, so pay for your hoagie and scram outa here!

4. Miami: Yeah, it ain’t the heat, it’s the humidity. I know we raised the prices on rooms at our dumpy hotel 200 percent, but ya know, it’s the season. And down here, the season is from January 1 to December 31.

5. Washington DC: Don’t ask me where the Lincoln Memorial is. Go find it yerself, tourist. I’m busy lobbying Congress to get a billion or so to keep my bank from going broke and to pay off more execs with huge cash bonuses.

Just kiddin’. We totally disagree with the listing, and have always found those cities welcoming to tourists with courtesy, great bargains and wonderful experiences.