Remember “Out To Sea”, the final movie comedy made in 1997 by long-time actor pals Walter Matthew and Jack Lemmon? The characters got a free sailing for signing on as male escorts with a single women’s cruise. As hilariously improbable as the plot may seem, the practice still flourishes today on both ocean and river cruises.

If you’re a senior bachelor or widower and would enjoy a free cruise, check with your travel agent and various cruise line websites for upcoming escort opportunities. Of course, the requirements for prospective escorts are a bit strict. You must be an excellent ballroom dancer, in good physical condition, provide references and possess the appropriate wardrobe.

You’re required to restrict evening closeness with feminine dance partners only within the ship’s ballroom. And never, never attempt to heat up the dancing in a private stateroom, lifeboat or other hide-away area.