Humor: What to do if your cruise ship is boarded by pirates Print

Recent news reports that the captain and crew of the SS Melody, a large Italian cruise ship, chased off a bunch of pirates. As the pirates’ motorboat approached in the troubled waters off the coast of Somalia, the armed and trained cruise ship’s crew scared them away with heavy gunfire.

Of course, there’s nothing really funny about it at all, especially unarmed and helpless people who must face the pirates’ guns and grenades. But just suppose you were on a cruise and suddenly the ship is attacked by pirates. What would you do? Here are some suggestions:

 

1. Ask to meet their pirate captain, Johnny Depp
2. Toss them some pieces of eight.
3. Tell them they’d make more money as a Disneyland ride
4. If they make you walk the plank, be sure you’re wearing a life jacket
5. Tell them you’re from Pittsburgh and ya really love dem ole Pirates
6. Ask the ship’s purser how much you have to tip the pirates
7. If it’ll help, say avast, matey, and shiver your timbers
8. Tell them the only buried treasure you know of is your sister’s millionaire late husband
9. Tell the pirates the ship’s casino already robbed all your money
10. Ask them just what the hell is the meaning of, “Sixteen men on a dead man’s chest”

 

Pirates boarding ship