1. In Atlantic City, beach sand keeps getting into the slot machines and your shorts.
2. Native American casinos are still mad at you from when you were a kid and screamed for William S. Hart, Hoot Gibson, Roy Rogers, Tom Mix and John Wayne to make them redskins bite the dust.
3. To be admitted to a Louisiana riverboat casino, you must first lift that barge and tote that bale.
4. They don’t speak understandable English in Monte Carlo casinos.
5. They don’t speak understandable English in London casinos.

6. Before you enter cruise ship casinos, you must bring a barf bag.
7. If you lose in Hong Kong casinos, an hour later, you get the urge to go back and lose again.
8. While you’re gambling in a New England casino, a guy on horseback keeps yelling, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”
9. To be admitted to Caribbean casinos, you must squeeze under a limbo bar.
10. You can’t smoke in Florida casinos near retirement communities, because everyone there is on oxygen.