| American Airlines Pilot Arrested For Being Drunk |   | 
|  According to news sources, he was pulled from his flight in England’s Manchester Airport before scheduled take-off for Philadelphia. This has happened before, and if you’re ever a passenger in the same situation, here are some clues to listen for when you hear the captains’ announcements:
 
 All passengers fasten your chastity belts
 The attitude will be very high, but not as high I am right now
 This flight is headed for some place I can’t remember
 I just got slapped for explaining the word cockpit to a stewardess
 Damn service dogs! I just slipped on something in the aisle
 Be kind to that sloppy drunk in the next seat. He’s my drinking buddy.
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